Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
