Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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