i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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