I'm going to jail i love you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
