Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
