Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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