What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
