We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
