Can i not drive my cunt home
At least make sure they are 18
Why
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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