mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
