I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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