He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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