I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
