Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
