New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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