I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
