I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize