dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
