What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My bed smells like the plague
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
