I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
