Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
