I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
