Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
