Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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