ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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