First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
