I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
