Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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