Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
