Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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