tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
