I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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