he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
