this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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