i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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