haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize