I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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