so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
