i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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