I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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