i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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