Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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