THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
