Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
worst night to have a conscience
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
