I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
