Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize