Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
