just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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