what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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