It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
