Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
