youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
