We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
