We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
