found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
