I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
