we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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